Bowling for Kids

Hello my hundreds upon thousands of loyal blog followers. I would like to take this opportunity to ask each and every one of you to look into your hearts and dig deep in your wallets to sponsor me in the Big Brothers, Big Sisters Bowling for Kids Sake.

For only $10 dollars you can help me reach my goal of $40 which allows me to bowl without having to donate anything myself and to stop asking people for donations.

For $25 you can not only help me but also help BBBS recruit more role models. I will also thank you on your facebook page by posting EITHER a picture of a dog, OR a cat, onto your wall, not both.

For $50 you become a Ben Colligan Bronze Pledge and I will personally leave you a voicemail reciting a haiku of your choice OR call up someone of your choosing doing the same. I will also send you a handwritten letter thanking you in a home made envelope.

For $75 you become a Ben Colligan Silver Pledge. Being a silver pledge entitles you to send me the lyrics of any song and without knowing the tune I will sing it to you in a voicemail message. I will also send you a handwritten letter thanking you in a home made envelope.

For $100 you become a Ben Colligan Gold Pledge and I will sing the same song to you or another number you give me, but replace most of the nouns with [YOUR NAME], I might learn the tune also.  I will also send you a handwritten letter thanking you in a home made envelope.

For $500 you become a Ben Colligan Platinum Pledge! You get the dog or cat picture. You get the haiku to yourself, a friend, or a frenemy. You get the song with your name replacing many of the nouns.  You get the hand written letter. But wait, there's more. I will personally thank you in a youtube video and possibly re-enact this scene from So I Married an Axe Murderer. I will also give you so many hugs the next time I see you. I will also make you breakfast some time. AND during the bowling game I will scream your name as loud as I can so everyone can hear it, once, after I get a strike. (you get to pick the style in which I yell from the following categories: Anger, Joy)

For $1000 you become a Ben Colligan Unobtainium Pledge! Let me know what you want, we can work out details.

http://www.bbbshr.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1000489&lis=1&kntae1000489=BBACA644F4774479864534F7FD40C9D5&supId=351804229

Link Link Link Link Link Link Link

Vacation from work

The countdown has ended which means I have to go back to work. 163 hours off of work. 6 full days and 19 hours. 10am January 27th - 5am February 3rd = freedom.

JuanWario 27, 26 b.c.

Mom is on vacation too. Her vacation is to Mexico. My vacation is to her house to take care of the pets.

Noon, I came up to moms house and let Xena out. The sun was shining so I decided to take her on a walk to the mailboxes. There were a few other people out walking or cleaning their cars so I had to be stealthy about where I would let Xena poop.

Around the corner out of sight of all houses: This is our chance. do it now.


sniff sniff waddle waddle, no poop

In front of a big bunch of bushes blocking the view from someones house: The gods of good fortune have blessed us with another sacred sanctuary to secretly shit


sniff sniff waddle wad... squat!...Yes! This is it... pee.Damn it.


A stretch of woods between two houses that would be very suitable for pooping.


I'm just going to stand here like a stupid smiling dog.


In the front yard of a house while an older lady is sweeping the porch and waving hello to me and the dog. please no please no please no please no...


Time to turn on the sausage factory. NOOOO!

Yes, Xena decided to poop in someones yard WHILE they were out front, stupid dog. That means I had to pick it up. I had brought a bag in case that happened but really didn't want to use it. On the way back from the mailboxes I picked up my pace, she pooped once, I'm not going to let her do it again...


She pooped again. In front of a house. I looked up and two people were standing in the window of the house staring at us. I wanted to run. I had another bag and I picked up more poop.

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17:00. Ce got off work and came up so I made us dinner.

Tempura Shrimp and Mini Tacos

 We spent the evening by the fire watching HIMYM

hmmm.

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January 28, 26 b.c.

08:00 Woke up, made breakfast, ran dishwasher.

10:00 Ce and I took Xena on a walk. Xena pooped in a secluded spot. I left it there.

12:00 Ce left for work. I have schoolwork to do. Ce and I are going on a blind date tonight.

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Ce and I joined MeetUp to find hiking groups and looked at some of the other MeetUp groups around Harrisonburg. One that looked fun was a group of 20-30 y/o and they do fun activities. This girl also in the group posted that her and her husband don't get out much because they have 2 kids and both work but wanted to meet other couples and young people outside of where they work. She suggested the event 'bowling' and Ce and I thought that might be fun to go on a blind couple date.

20:00 I left Massanutten to head over to Ce's. Bowling wasn't until 22:00. We hung out for a while and then at 21:00 my phone lit up and I had an email from the girl saying her and her husband had to cancel. Luckily Ce and I had a back up plan.

We had already invited someone else to go bowling: Flanders

We met flanders at the bowling alley and played 4 or 5 games.

January 29, 26 b.c.
We did absolutely nothing

January 30, 26 b.c.
Hanging out with Ce and the dog. I have class tonight so study study.

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I got back from class this evening and took Xena out. There was a big unleashed dog roaming the neighborhood looking to attack any unsuspecting victims. The beast came up and started growling at me and Xena. Little, old Xena ran in between me and the ferocious, muscular, beast of a dog and started barking at it and running towards it! The bad dog backed away and I rewarded Xena, for saving my life, with a milk bone. 

January 31, 26 b.c.
I had a biology test this morning which only lasted about two quarters of an hour and I came home. Tonight I get to go see the Carolina Chocolate Drops which is very exciting.


The Carolina Chocolate Drops were fantastic! We got to Charlottesville and had dinner at Millers. The waitress was scatterbrained and it took sooo long to get our check. We were not able to get in line as early as we would have liked but we got aisle seats in the balcony which was nice.

View this video larger

I am going to start playing the bones. Next time I go out to eat I'll get some beef ribs and I'll save the bones, clean 'em up and play 'em.


February 1, 26 b.c.
I have my American lit. class this evening and there is still some reading I have to do. Sometimes when I am reading I just get so tired and my eye lids get filled with cement and then they shut. I realized that might happen so I decided to read out loud to Ce. The story went by much faster this way and since I wasn't continually dozing off I was able to comprehend what was going on. After class we are going to play team trivia at The Dodger.

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We didn't win anything but we still had fun. Ce, Jana, Stephanie and I, aka Team Shicken Chit, got very few questions right and many many questions wrong. Last week I, after having Vogue stuck in my head and creating this, soon to be internet sensation, joke, named our team Strike a Posse. New team name ideas for next week; "JoePa wasn't fired, he was cremated." "Newt: All your moon base are belong to U.S."

February 2, 26 b.c.

Happy Groundhog Day! I am a wee bit hung-over. At midnight Ce and I inserted the VHS of the greatest holiday movie ever made into the VCR. The game we play is at every mention of the word 'groundhog' you take a drink and every time it is another day you drink for 3 seconds. The game starts off slow but when it gets to the parts where Rita keeps slapping Phil it is a new day every 3 seconds. Other get drunk parts are when he kills himself over and over and when he breaks the alarm clock over and over.

Time for the Annual
 viewing of Groundhog Day

In biology this afternoon we started to set up our fruit fly lab. we had two vials, one with wild type red eyed male flies and one with female flies with mutant sepia eyes. We had to set up a third vial for them to copulate in. It was tough to set the mood, we had to bring in a miniature water bed, tiny candles, and a little bottle of wine. We also had to find a high frequency recording of Barry Whites 'Can't Get Enough.'

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I watched Groundhog Day again this evening and now I really should be getting to bed. Work starts back up tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it. Good night.