Blades of Grass

I try to take advantage of any activities I can find in the area that might seem fun, entertaining, or different. Sometimes they may take me out of my comfort level, but I try to make to most out of every situation. I was looking for times that the planetarium had free shows (Saturdays at 2:30 and 3:30 throughout the JMU school year) and I came across "Poet Tree Reading" where anyone is welcome to come a read an original poem about nature. I thought to myself, why not? I printed out my mountain lion dream poem and decided I would give another poem a try. Ce and I went down to the arboretum and saw the group which looked to be a few JMU professors and their creative writing class. It was a fun experience. Here is one of the poems I read:

Blades of Grass

i used to love blades of grass

trampling below my feet

as i ran around at the park.

i used to love blades of grass

pulling it up by the handful

and letting it go in the wind.

i used to love blades of grass

cushioning my back

as i somersaulted and rolled down the hills.

i used to love blades of grass

filling my nostrils

with the sweet smell when freshly cut.

i used to love blades of grass

listening to the trill

when placed between my two thumbs.

at age 9 i rolled rolled rolled

down the hill so fast

i could not see the rocks covered up by the patches of grass.

9 stitches for the 9 year old.

grass blades cut like steel blades

leaving my legs

red and tender.

i cannot smell or see the fresh mown lawn

with my watery eyes

and my sneezing nose.

I used to love blades of grass

Mountain Lion dream.

In a valley surrounded by divine white-topped rocky mountains-
So immense and majestic that you could not help but hear:
               "Ahhh" sung by a harmonious angel choir.

Running.
Not   Running    from     anything.
Not   Running      to        anything.
         Just               Running.

Slow moving black beetle scurry away from
Green Crawling reptile soaking in the sun.
             A herd of slim,
                 horned
                 hoofed creatures
half a mile ahead graze on the sparse
 shrubs growing along this Red Rock Trail.

-The only sound I hear is my own breath and the synchronized pit-pat of the two feet
                                                                                                                      below me.

Breathe outpitpat inpitpat outpitpat inpitpat

Approaching the herd new sounds entrance me.
Sounds not of my breath or of my feet but of rustels, gallops, rumbling ground.
The herd has taken off "did I startle them?"

From the cuspidated cliff caves vaults a vicious mountain lion.
"he MUST be after the deer"

My once steady pace now has arrhythmia as I veer away from the-

Bowling for Kids

Hello my hundreds upon thousands of loyal blog followers. I would like to take this opportunity to ask each and every one of you to look into your hearts and dig deep in your wallets to sponsor me in the Big Brothers, Big Sisters Bowling for Kids Sake.

For only $10 dollars you can help me reach my goal of $40 which allows me to bowl without having to donate anything myself and to stop asking people for donations.

For $25 you can not only help me but also help BBBS recruit more role models. I will also thank you on your facebook page by posting EITHER a picture of a dog, OR a cat, onto your wall, not both.

For $50 you become a Ben Colligan Bronze Pledge and I will personally leave you a voicemail reciting a haiku of your choice OR call up someone of your choosing doing the same. I will also send you a handwritten letter thanking you in a home made envelope.

For $75 you become a Ben Colligan Silver Pledge. Being a silver pledge entitles you to send me the lyrics of any song and without knowing the tune I will sing it to you in a voicemail message. I will also send you a handwritten letter thanking you in a home made envelope.

For $100 you become a Ben Colligan Gold Pledge and I will sing the same song to you or another number you give me, but replace most of the nouns with [YOUR NAME], I might learn the tune also.  I will also send you a handwritten letter thanking you in a home made envelope.

For $500 you become a Ben Colligan Platinum Pledge! You get the dog or cat picture. You get the haiku to yourself, a friend, or a frenemy. You get the song with your name replacing many of the nouns.  You get the hand written letter. But wait, there's more. I will personally thank you in a youtube video and possibly re-enact this scene from So I Married an Axe Murderer. I will also give you so many hugs the next time I see you. I will also make you breakfast some time. AND during the bowling game I will scream your name as loud as I can so everyone can hear it, once, after I get a strike. (you get to pick the style in which I yell from the following categories: Anger, Joy)

For $1000 you become a Ben Colligan Unobtainium Pledge! Let me know what you want, we can work out details.

http://www.bbbshr.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1000489&lis=1&kntae1000489=BBACA644F4774479864534F7FD40C9D5&supId=351804229

Link Link Link Link Link Link Link

Vacation from work

The countdown has ended which means I have to go back to work. 163 hours off of work. 6 full days and 19 hours. 10am January 27th - 5am February 3rd = freedom.

JuanWario 27, 26 b.c.

Mom is on vacation too. Her vacation is to Mexico. My vacation is to her house to take care of the pets.

Noon, I came up to moms house and let Xena out. The sun was shining so I decided to take her on a walk to the mailboxes. There were a few other people out walking or cleaning their cars so I had to be stealthy about where I would let Xena poop.

Around the corner out of sight of all houses: This is our chance. do it now.


sniff sniff waddle waddle, no poop

In front of a big bunch of bushes blocking the view from someones house: The gods of good fortune have blessed us with another sacred sanctuary to secretly shit


sniff sniff waddle wad... squat!...Yes! This is it... pee.Damn it.


A stretch of woods between two houses that would be very suitable for pooping.


I'm just going to stand here like a stupid smiling dog.


In the front yard of a house while an older lady is sweeping the porch and waving hello to me and the dog. please no please no please no please no...


Time to turn on the sausage factory. NOOOO!

Yes, Xena decided to poop in someones yard WHILE they were out front, stupid dog. That means I had to pick it up. I had brought a bag in case that happened but really didn't want to use it. On the way back from the mailboxes I picked up my pace, she pooped once, I'm not going to let her do it again...


She pooped again. In front of a house. I looked up and two people were standing in the window of the house staring at us. I wanted to run. I had another bag and I picked up more poop.

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17:00. Ce got off work and came up so I made us dinner.

Tempura Shrimp and Mini Tacos

 We spent the evening by the fire watching HIMYM

hmmm.

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January 28, 26 b.c.

08:00 Woke up, made breakfast, ran dishwasher.

10:00 Ce and I took Xena on a walk. Xena pooped in a secluded spot. I left it there.

12:00 Ce left for work. I have schoolwork to do. Ce and I are going on a blind date tonight.

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Ce and I joined MeetUp to find hiking groups and looked at some of the other MeetUp groups around Harrisonburg. One that looked fun was a group of 20-30 y/o and they do fun activities. This girl also in the group posted that her and her husband don't get out much because they have 2 kids and both work but wanted to meet other couples and young people outside of where they work. She suggested the event 'bowling' and Ce and I thought that might be fun to go on a blind couple date.

20:00 I left Massanutten to head over to Ce's. Bowling wasn't until 22:00. We hung out for a while and then at 21:00 my phone lit up and I had an email from the girl saying her and her husband had to cancel. Luckily Ce and I had a back up plan.

We had already invited someone else to go bowling: Flanders

We met flanders at the bowling alley and played 4 or 5 games.

January 29, 26 b.c.
We did absolutely nothing

January 30, 26 b.c.
Hanging out with Ce and the dog. I have class tonight so study study.

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I got back from class this evening and took Xena out. There was a big unleashed dog roaming the neighborhood looking to attack any unsuspecting victims. The beast came up and started growling at me and Xena. Little, old Xena ran in between me and the ferocious, muscular, beast of a dog and started barking at it and running towards it! The bad dog backed away and I rewarded Xena, for saving my life, with a milk bone. 

January 31, 26 b.c.
I had a biology test this morning which only lasted about two quarters of an hour and I came home. Tonight I get to go see the Carolina Chocolate Drops which is very exciting.


The Carolina Chocolate Drops were fantastic! We got to Charlottesville and had dinner at Millers. The waitress was scatterbrained and it took sooo long to get our check. We were not able to get in line as early as we would have liked but we got aisle seats in the balcony which was nice.

View this video larger

I am going to start playing the bones. Next time I go out to eat I'll get some beef ribs and I'll save the bones, clean 'em up and play 'em.


February 1, 26 b.c.
I have my American lit. class this evening and there is still some reading I have to do. Sometimes when I am reading I just get so tired and my eye lids get filled with cement and then they shut. I realized that might happen so I decided to read out loud to Ce. The story went by much faster this way and since I wasn't continually dozing off I was able to comprehend what was going on. After class we are going to play team trivia at The Dodger.

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We didn't win anything but we still had fun. Ce, Jana, Stephanie and I, aka Team Shicken Chit, got very few questions right and many many questions wrong. Last week I, after having Vogue stuck in my head and creating this, soon to be internet sensation, joke, named our team Strike a Posse. New team name ideas for next week; "JoePa wasn't fired, he was cremated." "Newt: All your moon base are belong to U.S."

February 2, 26 b.c.

Happy Groundhog Day! I am a wee bit hung-over. At midnight Ce and I inserted the VHS of the greatest holiday movie ever made into the VCR. The game we play is at every mention of the word 'groundhog' you take a drink and every time it is another day you drink for 3 seconds. The game starts off slow but when it gets to the parts where Rita keeps slapping Phil it is a new day every 3 seconds. Other get drunk parts are when he kills himself over and over and when he breaks the alarm clock over and over.

Time for the Annual
 viewing of Groundhog Day

In biology this afternoon we started to set up our fruit fly lab. we had two vials, one with wild type red eyed male flies and one with female flies with mutant sepia eyes. We had to set up a third vial for them to copulate in. It was tough to set the mood, we had to bring in a miniature water bed, tiny candles, and a little bottle of wine. We also had to find a high frequency recording of Barry Whites 'Can't Get Enough.'

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I watched Groundhog Day again this evening and now I really should be getting to bed. Work starts back up tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it. Good night.

countdown

First hike of 26 B.C.

Wednesday, January Eleventh 26 B.C.

I've been trying to find a nice day both Ce and I had off so we could be outside but every time our schedules synched up the damn weather would tell us to go inside and watch an episode of Dexter, Breaking Bad, or How I Met Your Mother. After a few failed attempts and several episodes of HIMYM a beautiful sunny day surprised us and we both had the afternoon free!

The Massanutten Ridge Trail is pretty rocky but fairly easy to manage. Ce prefers loop hikes so she doesn't have to see the same things twice but this hike was a 'there and back' hike. from our parking spot it was a little over two and a half miles to the end-point.

The end of the hike is at the peak of Massanutten mountain, close to the top of the 'Diamond Jim' and 'Paradise' ski trails. Right past the cell phone towers and a little farther up some rocks there is a suicide dock, it is just like a normal dock you would see on a lake but this one hangs over the edge of the mountain and is intended for those who want to end their lives in the noble fashion of plummeting down the side of a mountain to their certain death.

"Awesome hiking poles Ben" - Anonymous

Instead of jumping like we had planned, we decided to take the service road from the cell phone towers down to the villages of Massanutten. The road wouldn't take us back to the parking lot so while we were up at the cell phone towers I called my mom who lives nearby to meet us when we got to the bottom of the mountain. 

Interesting note: While my phone has a max of four bars when in service, standing next to the Verizon cell phone tower while making the call gave me an extra fifth bar that was bigger and orange instead of blue like all the others.

Closer to the bottom of the service road we found a slip and slide that had frozen. Ce decided it would suit her better to stand at the bottom and record me going down.

View this shit larger YOUTUBE (opens in a new window)

I used RunKeeper on my phone to track our progress, you can see the activity report here.

<3en

update 1: Turns out the suicide dock was actually put there as a hang gliding dock, same difference if you ask me.

update 2: The extra orange service signal bar turned out to be a cheeto.

26 B.C.

I hope everyone had a good holiday; a merry Christmas, a happy Gregorian new year, and a happy new year. Of course January fifth brought in the new year, 26 B.C. and I was lucky enough to celebrate it with my family.

Clean shaven face before the company christmas party

I miss my beard. Cutting it off seemed like such a good idea at the time but clean shaven Ben is just not as confident as homeless, deserted island Ben. So good news: I'm growing it back!









Christmas morning I was at my moms house with Ce, Erin and Mike where we opened presents and ate apple pancakes. I got a new tent, a Marmot Limelight. Ce and I are planning to hike for six days in May and as excited as I am about it, the thought of figuring out what to bring, how to pack, what to do about food and water has been festering in the back of my mind. I have camped for a week before but that was always at a site with a car. The longest hiking trip I have been on was just one night and that was easy enough but six days is a different game all together. Doug has more experience backpacking and has expressed some interest in coming so that would be great.

On Gregorian New Years eve, Ce and I triple dated with Erin and Mike, and Scott and Ginny at Kyoto Japanese Steak House. After dinner we went to Mikes parents house to play games and ring in the new Gregorian year.

On January Fifth, New Years day, I had to work early but was able to get off in time to go to lunch with Ce, Erin, Mike, and Dad at A Bowl of Good. We were on the hunt for the best ginger brew I have ever had Maine Root Ginger Brew. ABoG is the only place I have ever seen it and they were sold out! bummer.

Later that night my wonderful mother took us out for Ethiopian. Such good food and so fun to eat.

<3en